Anxiety Attack

Today I had so much to eat. I feel like a fat cow. I feel like a piece of shit. I feel like it should be illegal to have as much food as I ate today. I want to throw it all up. I want to cut out the pieces of fat, and throw it all away. I would rather be dead right about now. I can’t stand it. If I even so much as look in the mirror I might scream and claw at myself. Don’t even think I’m kidding around with razors either. I took a picture of what I look like, side profile, and I died. I drew it to literally sketch the image into my head. What the hell is wrong with me? I don’t understand. I had a thin bagel for breakfast, chicken, french-fries, and a creaser chicken wrap.  Oh My God. I am going to go do a million sit-ups now. But it won’t help. I screwed up. I wish I was old enough to be on my own, so I could have a house and make sure to keep NO food in it. I would put thinspo all over the walls and I would work out every day, and I would be happy and skinny and it would be beautiful. BUT here I am, here’s the fat ass. I don’t know if I can take another day living my life like this.